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Beano Comic

30 Duck Jokes to Quack You Up

These funny duck jokes will quack you up...

In need of a BEAK? It's perfect weather for Beano's best duck jokes! Our laughs will lift you lighter than a feather in no time!

Once you're done at this pond, waddle on over to our farm full of chicken jokes or feel sky-high with our bird jokes. Plus we've got animal jokes galore in our Joke Generator!

What do you call it when it's raining ducks and geese?

Fowl weather!

Why did the duck say bang? 

Because they wanted a firequacker roll!

Mallard duck sitting on a silver plate held by a waiter

What is Donald Duck's favourite snack?

Quackers!

White duck wearing a red bow tie

Why did the fox go for a duck?

Because he was rubbish at cricket. (Probably something to do with not being able to hold a bat in his little paws - Ed)

What kind of shoes do geese wear?

Duck Martens!

Black shoes on a pavement

What do you get if you cross a sea monster with a duck?

A quacken!

Large yellow inflatable duck in front of a full moon

What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire?

Count Quackula!

Laughing pineapple in front of a full moon and spooky looking forest

What sound does a weird duck make?

Quirk Quirk!

Laughing red crested rooster

What do you call a duck that works in a hospital?

A Health Quacktitioner!

Smiling red crested rooster and owl

What does a duck that's made of avocado say?

Guac!

Two smiling avocados

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?

I hope I didn't quack any!

What is a duck's favourite game?

Beak-a-boo!

Why did the duck cross the road?

Because there was a quack in the sidewalk!

Why did the duck join the baseball game?

To make a fowl shot!

Why do ducks fly South for the winter?

Because it's too far to waddle!

What is it called when it's raining ducks and geese?

Fowl weather!

What has webbed feet and fangs?

Count Duckula!

What kind of TV shows do ducks watch?

Duckumentaries!

Where do ducks go when they are sick?

To the duck-tor!

Which bird steals soap from your bath?

A robber duck!

What type of food is a duck and mole put together?

Quackamole!

What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?

A firequacker!

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?

A Christmas quacker!

christmas jokes

Why was the duck arrested?

It was suspected of fowl play!

On what side does a duck have the most feathers?

The outside!

When does a duck get up?

At the quack of dawn!

What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement!

Why do ducks make good detectives?

They always quack the case!

What did the duck say to the waiter?

Put it on my bill!

What do you call a duck who's always telling jokes?

A wisequacker!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our duck jokes to our animal jokes
Vampire Chair

Trick or Treat?

Choose wisely...