Skip to main content
Subscribe to our Beano comic! Click Here
Beano Comic

26 Funny Maths Jokes Which Need No Working Out!

Maths has an undeserved reputation for being boring - we've fixed that with these funny maths jokes! If you don't know what 6 is scared of 7 you need to read on...

We've jazzed up maths lessons with this collection of funny maths jokes. These add to our epic collection of school jokes - from funny teacher jokes to hilarious history jokes.

What did the teacher say to the vampire after he failed his math test?

Can't you count, Dracula?

How do you calculate the circumference of a dessert?

Apple pi

Why did the tree fail Maths?

It couldn’t do square roots!

If you had 4 apples and 5 oranges in one hand and 6 apples and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have?

Very large hands!

number jokes

What’s the most mathematical aspect of summer?

The tan lines!

summer jokes

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

I couldn’t differentiate between them!

exam jokes

Bit nervous about my maths exam.

Think my chances of passing it are 40-40!

exam jokes

To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero...

Thanks for nothing!

one liner jokes

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them!

How do mathematicians tell off their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times!

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

A pumpkin pie

Teacher: If you got £20 from 5 people, what do you get?

Student: A new bike!

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands!

Why is Buzz light year so good at Maths?

Because he can count to infinity and beyond!

Did you hear about the constipated maths teacher?

He had to work it out with a pencil!

Why couldn't the maths student get any attention?

He didn't count!

How does a mathematician plough his fields?

With a pro-tractor!

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine!

Why was the maths student so bad at decimals?

She couldn't get the point!

Who invented fractions?

Henry the Eighth!

What is a polygon?

A dead parrot!

What’s black, white and horrible?

A maths test!

What do butterflies study at school?

Mothematics!

What happened to the maths teacher's garden?

The plants all grew square roots!

Why should you never do maths in the jungle?

Because if you add four and four, you might get ate!

Why was the maths book sad?

It had too many problems!

Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 strawberries?

Because that would be a pi!

A boy in front of a blackboard with laughing face emojies and the words funny school jokes - link from maths jokes
Vampire Chair

Trick or Treat?

Choose wisely...