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Beano Comic

26 Funny Pig Jokes to Make You Squeal

Tickle yourself pink with these funny pig jokes!

These corkers are porkers... or porkers are corkers. We can't quite tell which!

Find it funny on the farm? We've got cow jokes too, plus fields of animal jokes in the Beano Joke Generator.

What do you call a pig with fleas?

Pork scratchings!

A farmer tried to save money by building a pig-powered tractor. They had to get rid of it though.

Every time they turned, the tires squealed!

farmer jokes

What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?

You take me for grunted!

A pig with big eyes

What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?

I'm bacon!

Summer jokes

What baking competition do pigs enter?

The Great British Bake On!

What do you get if you cross Teddy with a pig?

A teddy boar!

Who's the smartest pig in the world?

Ein-swine!

Why are pigs bad drivers?

They are all road hogs!

Why should you never share a bed with a pig?

They hog all the covers!

What do you call an angry pig?

Disgruntled!

What do you get when you cross a pig and Superman?

The man of squeal!

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

Pork chop!

Why was Woody fed up of Hamm?

He was being a bore!

Where did Hamm go to school?

Hogwarts!

What did Hamm build his house out of?

Mahogany!

What do you call a pig who steals stuff?

A hamburglar!

What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day?

Don't go bacon my heart!

What do pigs put on cuts?

Oinkment!

What was the pig doing in the kitchen?

Bacon!

How do pigs send secret messages?

With invisible oink!

How do pigs get to hospital?

By hambulance!

What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

Jurassic pork!

What do you call a pig who can't mind its own business?

A nosey porker!

What did one pig say to the other pig?

You take me for grunted!

What animal drives really badly?

A road hog!

What do you call a pig with a black belt in karate?

A pork chop!

A racoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our pig jokes to our animal jokes
Vampire Chair

Trick or Treat?

Choose wisely...