Beano Superstars – ‘Erbert

I’ve lost my glasses somewhere, so one of my best friends Plug is typing this out for me. I am beautiful. Plug, stop adding stuff to my story. OK. Plug, stop typing everything. OK? OK.

My full name is Herbert Hoover. My glasses are my super power, mainly because when I where them, I feel like I can do anything. But the moment I misplace them, then things get a little tricky. 

Because of this, my other senses really help me out. For example, I can feel when it’s lunchtime and I can recognise my classmates by their taste. Scotty tastes sour! 

One person I can sense is near when I’m not wearing my glasses is Cuthbert Cringeworthy – Bash Street School’s swottiest swot and the world’s biggest tell-tale. He’s always telling Mr. Teacher when the rest of us are having fun, or “up to no good”, as he claims. I always try to keep an eye on him and act as a Cuthbert lookout, but that doesn’t always work.

All of my family wear glasses. My dad Charles wears glasses and works in a bank, but he’s not sure which one because his eyesight is so bad. My mum Cynthia works as a childminder and I think the children she looks after have a great time because she can’t see how much mischief they’re getting up to! We live on the second floor of Bash Street Towers and the view is amazing – well, it is when I’m wearing my glasses. 

Right, Plug. Have we finished this bit yet? We have? Thank you. Then why can I still hear you tapping away on the keyboard? I think it’s time to stop now. Can you help me find my glasses? I’m sure they’re around somewhere. Plug. Stop typing now!

‘Erbert Fact File

Name: Herbert Henry Hoover

Age: 9

Best friends: Plug, Freddy and Wilfrid from Class 2B

Worst enemy: Cuthbert, the class tell-tale and teacher’s pet

Prized possession: His glasses, where would he be without them? He’s not really sure where he is, even with them…

Motto: “I’m watching you, Cringeworthy, always watching … hey, where did he go?”

Super skill: ‘Erbert has quite bad eyesight, but his other senses are amazing: he can feel lunchtime coming and recognise people by their taste (Scotty tastes sour)

Family: Mum, dad and cousin Henrietta

Address: Second floor, Bash Street Towers

Fact: ‘Erbert once kissed a plastic elf under the mistletoe