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Beano Comic

20 Swimming Jokes Which Will Make a Splash

Looking for laughs? Dive in to these float-aly funny swimming jokes!

Need more jokes? Take a peek at these water jokes, boat jokes, sea jokes and a whole ocean of other jokes!

Jokes! As far as the eye can see!

Why didn’t the hipster swim in the river?

It was too mainstream!

What stroke do sheep like most?

The baaaaaaa-ckstroke!

Grinning unicorn

Why should you never swim on a full stomach?

Because it's easier to swim on water!

A fish swims into a wall.

Dam!

A goldfish wearing sunglasses

How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg!

A dog with its tongue out

What do you call a goat that can swim really fast?

A motor goat!

A quizzical looking goat in front of a purple background

What do you call a small pole that can swim?

A tadpole!

Where do mummies swim?

In the Dead Sea!

Why do sharks only swim in salt water?

Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

Which way round the pool do chickens swim?

Cluck wise!

Last night I dreamt I was swimming in orange soda.

It was just a Fanta sea!

What does a search engine wear in the water?

Swimming googles!

Why are spiders so good at swimming?

Because they have webbed feet!

Someone asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool.

So I gave them a glass of water!

Why was the mouse afraid of swimming?

Catfish!

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?

Because they couldn’t keep their trunks up!

Is this pool safe for diving?

It deep ends!

What kind of race is never run?

A swimming race!

What do elephants wear to go swimming?

Trunks!

What kind of horse is good at swimming?

A seahorse!

Vampire Chair

Trick or Treat?

Choose wisely...