290 Word Jokes That Are So Punny!
What's in a word? Loads of laughs! So ditch the dictionary and wrap your chops round our lexicon of lolz!
These jokes are really rewording! Get ready for some punny word play with these hilarious word jokes! If you've got time for more laughs, check out our clock jokes! We've also got lol-worthy library jokes, and if you liked those, stick your nose in these great book jokes ! Check out more hilarious jokes on our jokes hub!
How do jellyfish get to school?
By octo-bus!
Why didn’t the jellyfish get along with the tuna?
They went to different schools!
What is a jellyfish’s favourite song?
“Don’t Stop Be-reefing!”
How do jellyfish like to travel?
In a jellycopter!
What is a jellyfish’s favourite game?
Stardew Jelly!
How do jellyfish keep up with the news?
They listen to current events!
Why do jellyfish make bad scientists?
Because they’re brainless!
Why did the jellyfish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!
How do jellyfish greet each other?
"Jello!"
What’s a jellyfish’s favourite sweet?
Jellybeans!
What did the jellyfish say to the crab?
“Stop being so shellfish!”
What is a jellyfish’s favourite classical music?
Anything with a good sting section!
Why are jellyfish so bad at lying?
They're transparent!
How do jellyfish pay for things?
With sand dollars!
What do you call a jellyfish detective?
An undercover sting!
What is a jellyfish’s favourite game?
Sting pong!
How do you start a conversation with a jellyfish?
Just dive right in!
Why are jellyfish so bad at confrontation?
Because they’re spineless!
Why did the jellyfish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why was the jellyfish sad?
Because there was no peanutbutterfish!
Why can’t pirates play bridge?
They’re always standing on the deck!
In bridge, 43% of slam contracts fail, 60% of players are women…
And 96% of bridge statistics are made up!
I always arrive late for bridge…
But I make up for it by leaving late too!
How do you know when you’re in trouble as a bridge player?
When you’re the declarer and the opponents start drawing trumps!
My cardiologist says I can’t play bridge any more…
I don’t have a heart problem, he just says I’m terrible!
“I can see you’re getting worse at bridge every day…
But today you’re playing like it’s tomorrow!”
Why is Batman bad at bridge?
He only gets the Joker!
Me and my bridge partner had a misunderstanding…
She assumed I knew what I was doing!
Why are meritocrats bad at bridge?
Because they don’t count losers!
Did you hear about the guy who wanted to learn bridge in one day?
He bought 35 copies of “Five Weeks To Winning Bridge.”
Did you hear about the bridge player who knew nothing about the game?
His wife played twice as well!
Why are tennis players bad at bridge?
Because they always try and make the grand slam even if they don’t have enough aces!
Bridge fan at a concert: “What does the orchestra keep looking at?” Friend: “That’s the score.”
Bridge fan: “Oh, who’s vulnerable?”
What’s the difference between a raging bull and a bridge partner?
You can reason with the bull!
Why is marriage like bridge?
It involves two hearts and a diamond!
Why are the rich bad at bridge?
Because they can’t transfer from diamonds to hearts!
What did the bridge player’s son say when he was asked to count for the class?
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king, ace!”
A wise man once said, “Bridge is a great comfort in your old age…
And it also helps you get there faster!”
There are three kinds of bridge players…
Those who can count, and those who can’t!
Why are DJs bad at bridge?
Because they always play in clubs!
Did you hear about the private investigator who dropped his phone?
He cracked the case!
What did the private investigator say after finding a calculator?
"Hmm... Now everything is starting to add up!"
What did the private investigator name his dog?
Snoopy!
What do you call a private investigator who just solves cases accidentally?
Sheer Luck Holmes!
What’s a good name for a private investigator?
Mr E!
I’m starting a company that’s part carpentry, part private investigation
I'll call it, I Saw That!
If a private investigator is called a private eye, what do you call a pirate investigator?
A privateer!
What would you call Donald Duck if he became a private investigator?
A duck-tective!
What does a private investigator call a short investigation?
A briefcase!
Why was Prince's housekeeper offered a job as a crime scene investigator?
She had decades of experience dusting for Prince!
What do you call a dog private detective?
Snoop Dogg!
What do you call a private investigator at sea?
A P-aye!
I'm the leader of a group of shoddy private investigators
I'm a directive defective detective!
I hired a private investigator but he spent two days staring at my hedges
Turned out he was a privet investigator!
I enrolled in an online Private Investigator Course but they’re not answering
I'm not sure if they’re just ignoring me or if this is my first case!
Why won’t a private investigator tell you their password?
It’s case sensitive!
What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job?
A Defective!
What did the private investigator in the Arctic say to the suspect?
Where were you on the night of September to March?
What did the olive say when it won the lottery?
“Olive my dreams just came true!”
Why are olives so good at Formula One?
They’re great at the pit stops!
What is an olive’s favourite spy film?
“Olive and Let Die”!
What is an olive’s favourite kind of music?
Pit pop!
What did the olive say to the cheese?
“We’re feta together!”
Why did the olive hate his rented flat?
It was the pits!
Why couldn’t the olive go on?
It ran out of juice!
What did the olive say after a difficult day at work?
“I’m feeling pressed!”
Why did the olive go to a book group?
He wanted to branch out a bit!
I have an olive oil joke…
But it’s way too refined for your taste!
How much olive oil does Snoop Dogg use to cook?
A drizzle!
I got banned from my local Italian restaurant for eating the breadsticks…
I ate olive them!
What did one olive say to the other at the party?
“Olive your dancing!”
Why was the Frenchman so sad when he lost his olive oil?
Because he lost the huile d’olive!
What do you call the world’s best diplomat?
Olive Branch!
Who is Rudolph’s fruity nemesis?
Olive, the other reindeer!
I’m not really a fan of olives…
But I just can’t brine myself to hate them!
What did the olive husband say to his olive wife?
“Olive you so much!”
Why did the olive go out with the prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!
What did the policeman say at the scene of the salad crime?
“Lettuce review olive the facts!”
How do reindeers know when Christmas is coming?
They check the calen-deer!
Which reindeer also has to work on Valentine's Day?
Cupid!
What do you call a royal deer?
A reign deer!
What’s a reindeer’s favourite game?
Stable tennis!
What do reindeer say before telling a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
Who laughed and called Rudolph names?
Olive, the other reindeer!
What is Rudolph’s favourite day of the year?
Red Nose Day!
Why was Santa so pleased with Rudolph guiding the sleigh?
Because it was a really bright idea!
What do reindeer want for Christmas?
A Sleigh-station!
What do you call a reindeer who can’t make up its mind?
In-deer-cisive!
What’s a reindeer’s favourite kind of exercise?
Deer-obics!
How did Santa’s reindeer look when they got fancy suits?
Dashing!
What do reindeer use to decorate their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!
Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Swimming costumes would be too cold!
When should you give reindeer milk to a baby?
When it's a baby reindeer!
Why didn't Comet take proper flying lessons?
They were elf taught!
What do reindeer say to elves?
Nothing! Reindeer don't speak elvish!
What do naughty reindeer eat for breakfast?
Co-coal Pops!
What happened when Dasher and Rudolph had a race?
Rudolph won by a nose!
Which of Santa's reindeer do dinosaurs dislike most?
Comet!
What do you call reindeer boarding at King's Cross?
Train-deer!
How do you get into a Rudolph’s house?
You ring the deer-bell!
What do reindeer use to communicate?
The antlernet!
How do reindeers save money on pizza?
They make their own doe!
Where do reindeer get their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What do reindeers have for breakfast?
Deer-ios!
Why are reindeer like coins?
They both have a head on one side and a tail on the other!
Why did all the reindeer have red noses like Rudolph?
It was freezing outside!
What is red, white and brown?
An embarrassed reindeer!
Why is Santa Claus always hugging the reindeer?
They are so deer to him!
Why was Rudolph sad about his school report?
Because he went "down in history"!
What do you call a reindeer with three eyes?
Reiiindeer!
What do reindeer say every time they take a picture on a roof?
Click!
What does Santa wear in a thunderstorm?
His rein-gear!
What’s a reindeer’s favourite Elton John song?
Tiny Dancer!
What is a lawn bowler’s favourite kind of music?
Rock and bowl!
I went lawn bowling with my best friend…
Next time, I’ll use a ball!
What do you call a really great game of lawn bowls?
Impecca-bowl!
Why did the lawn bowler have to keep going to the loo?
He had Irritable Bowl Syndrome!
When is a bowls lawn the coolest place to be?
When it’s full of fans!
Who plays lawn bowls on horseback?
The Lawn Ranger!
Why did the bowls player agree to go on a date with the other bowls player?
He totally bowled her over!
You know what they say about lawn bowls…
A bowl in the hand is worth two in the ditch!
Why was Cinderella such a bad lawn bowler?
Her coach was a pumpkin!
Why do lawn bowlers join unions?
They love strikes!
What do you call a lawn bowls team that gets lots of strikes?
Lightning!
Why should you only play lawn bowls at night?
That’s the only time the umpires can come out!
What’s the song Queen wrote for their local lawn bowls club?
Bowlhemian Rhapsody!
Which US state should you visit to get matching team jumpers?
New Jersey!
When should lawn bowlers wear armour?
When they play knight games!
We had to wait AGES for the lawn bowling club to open…
Then we finally got the ball rolling!
Why did the scarecrow become a bowler?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
I lost a game the other day…
I was bowling my eyes out!
Me and my whole friend group started a lawn bowling team…
That’s just how we roll!
What do you call it when Darth Vader takes up lawn bowls?
The Umpire Strikes Back!
I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough
I've handed in my too weak notice!
Why doesn’t Where’s Wally weightlift?
Because no one can spot him!
I did an hour of cardio today...
I really need to find closer parking to the gym!
Weightlifting is a tough sport
Others set the bar very high!
Weightlifters are the worst when it comes to getting advice on protein
Someone always has to whey in!
Sauron doesn’t lift - so how did he lose weight?
He just ate in Mordoration!
I weight lift at a gym for religious minorities
Jehovah's Fitness!
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today
That’s 7 years in a row now!
Forgot to bring my protein powder to my weight lift session today
Guess I should've prepared whey in advance!
Day 1 weightlifting and I already lost 3 pounds!
Now it's time to get off the toilet and start my workout!
What do you call an astronaut that lifts weights?
Neil Armstrong!
Why don't witches get sweaty when weightlifting?
Because they wear moisture-Wiccan shirts!
Did you hear about the weightlifting cow?
It was pretty beefed up!
Weight lifting sheep
Really raise the bahhhh!
What do you call a bison who lifts?
A buff fellow!
Why did Elizabeth Arden get a restraining order against Calvin Klein?
Because he had an Obsession!
Did you hear about the perfume brand founded in the 1700s?
Their perfume is made in an ol’ factory!
What do you call a broken vending machine that sells perfumes?
Out of odour!
What do you call a talking perfume bottle?
Scentient!
Why did the surrealist painter lose his job at the perfume factory?
Because he didn’t make any scents!
Perfume commercials don’t make sense…
But they sure do sell them!
I just broke my sister’s bottle of perfume…
She’s gonna be fuming!
Did you know that you can order perfume by email?
It goes in your scent folder!
Why did all the workers in the perfume factory look the same?
They were colognes!
My wife left me because I always wore the same brand of perfume…
Turns out she’s Lacoste intolerant!
Why did Chanel sue the company that made their own knock-off of No. 5?
It was a fragrant violation of copyright!
What makes a perfume witty?
A good scents of humour!
I bought a perfume that didn’t smell of anything…
It made no scents!
What do you call it when a perfume goes upstairs?
Ascent!
Did you hear about the perfume brand that went out of business?
It doesn’t make scents any more!
What do you call a perfume that’s missed its deadline?
Eau de Too Late!
My Buddhist friend uses Nirvana-themed perfume…
It smells like teen spirit!
What do you call a perfume that doesn’t smell?
Nonsense!
Why are perfumes such good musicians?
They always hit the right note!
Why did the perfume go to therapy?
It had a lot of bottled up emotions!
What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?
One with an obtuse angle!
Why did the triangle player quit the orchestra?
It was just one ting after another!
Why does your maths teacher go on about triangles so much?
Some pupils just don’t get the point!
What kind of church does a triangle attend?
Anglican!
What’s the most magical side of a triangle?
The Harrypotenuse!
I have a joke about the hypotenuse of a triangle…
I can only tell one side of the story, though!
What kind of animal lives in a triangle?
A hippotenuse!
I was visited by an angel, but it only described the measurements of a triangle…
I think it was a sine from God!
Why couldn’t the triangle get a bank loan?
Its parents wouldn’t cosine!
What do you call a right-angle triangle resting under a tree on a sunny day?
90 degrees in the shade!
Why did the obtuse triangle go to the doctor?
It wasn’t feeling right!
Why is Toblerone shaped like a triangle?
So it can fit in the box!
Shout-out to the guy who plays the triangle in the school band…
Thanks for every ting!
What happened to the triangle who crashed his car?
He became a wrecked-angle!
What’s the real cause of death for people who disappear in the Bermuda Triangle?
Heat exhaustion – it’s 180 degrees inside a triangle!
What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless!”
What is a triangle’s favourite newspaper?
The HypotoNews!
How do you climb a triangle?
By scalene it!
What kind of triangle should you ask on a date?
Acute triangle!
What kind of triangle is a tortilla chip?
An i-salsa-les triangle!
Why can’t you frame an ostrich for your crimes?
It will never fly in court!
Why don’t ostriches get sick?
They’re emu-nized!
Which side of the ostrich has the most feathers?
The outside!
Why are ostriches allowed on planes?
They’re not a flight risk!
Why did the ostriches go to the beach?
To stick their heads in the sand!
Why do ostriches like giraffes so much?
They’re the only ones they can look up to!
How do you stop an ostrich from charging?
Take away its credit card!
What did the robber say to the police when he broke into the zoo?
“Don’t move, I’ve got ostriches!”
What is an ostrich’s favourite fruit?
Neck-tarines!
I put a “No Flyers” sign on my letterbox…
The next day, I was visited by an ostrich trying to sell me insurance!
Why was the big bird sitting at home alone?
He was ostrich-sized!
Did you hear about the race between the giraffe and the ostrich?
It was neck and neck!
What do you get if you cross an ostrich and a kangaroo?
Something that can’t fly, but it can definitely hop!
The French chef REALLY messed up when he dropped the ostrich egg on the floor…
Big oeuf!
Why did the emu lose his friends when he unexpectedly grew taller?
Because he was ostrich-sized!
I used to love telling jokes about ostriches...
But they don’t really fly around these parts!
What do you call a lonely man with a pet ostrich?
Ostracized!
Why did the ostrich cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What do you call a magical ostrich?
An ostwitch!
Why is an ostrich always wealthy?
Because if it wasn’t it would be an ostpoor!
What is Carmie’s favourite fruit?
Neck-tarines!
What would Madison say if she had a YouTube channel?
"Lycan subscribe!"
How does Carmie get into the house?
Through the bat flap!
Why are vampires so impulsive?
They never reflect on things!
What do you call the vampire who went to the beach?
Ash!
What’s the most important holiday in the Henley house?
Fangs-giving!
What is Carmie’s favourite cereal?
Ready Neck!
What did the Shapeshifter say to the Collector?
“Be ya, wouldn’t wanna see ya!”
How do you know if a vampire is ill?
They can’t stop coffin!
Where does the Shapeshifter keep her money?
In a blood bank!
Why are vampires such good friends?
You can always count on them!
What can you call Madison when she’s confused?
An unaware-wolf!
What is Carmie’s Starbucks order?
Decoffinated!
What is Carmie’s favourite ice-cream flavour?
Vein-illa!
Why did Carmie take a ladder when she left the house?
She heard the stakes were high!
What is the Collector’s favourite cheese?
Gorgon-zola!
Why doesn’t Carmie like mosquitoes?
Too much competition!
What is a vampire’s favourite soup?
Scream of tomato!
How does Carmie get a torch to work?
With bat-teries!
What should you never yell at Carmie during an argument?
"Bite me!"
Did you hear about the Hot Wheels car made out of sausages?
It was a banger!
What is a Hot Wheels car’s favourite meal?
Brake-fast!
What do you call a McDonalds themed Hot Wheels car?
Fast food!
What do you do with your Hot Wheels when they break?
Retire them!
How do Hot Wheels keep going?
They work tirelessly!
What do you get if you cross a potato with a Hot Wheels car?
Crashed potatoes!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a Hot Wheels car?
A jump start!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to play with his Hot Wheels?
He wanted to take the high road!
What sound does a witch themed Hot Wheels car make?
Broom broom!
What kind of driver will you need when your Hot Wheels car breaks?
A screwdriver!
What happened to the Hot Wheels car made of wood?
It wooden go!
What do you get when dinosaurs play with Hot Wheels?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks!
Why can’t you play football with your Hot Wheels?
They’ve only got one boot!
Why can’t a Hot Wheels car that’s been cut in half race anymore?
It’s two tyred!
Why did the man drive his car across lava?
He wanted Hot Wheels!
What do you call a Mexican Hot Wheels fan convention?
A Ford Fiesta!
I bought a Wonder Woman themed Hot Wheels car…
The box was empty!
What do you call a Gordon Ramsey themed Hot Wheels car?
A Chef-rolet!
What do you call a Yoda themed Hot Wheels car?
A Toy Yoda!
What do you get if your car is on fire?
Hot Wheels!
What should you do if an Atiny asks you a question?
Answer!
Why does Jongho love the Caribbean?
The Eternal Sunshine!
What would Seonghwa say if he was a librarian?
“Hush-Hush!”
What is Wooyoung’s favourite jungle animal?
Guerilla!
Why do ATEEZ love Jack Sparrow?
He’s the Pirate King!
Why are ATEEZ such good dancers?
Because they have Crazy Form!
Why don’t ATEEZ fans enjoy flying?
Because of the Turbulence!
Why don’t ATEEZ fans enjoy The Hunger Games?
They’d rather read books about a UTOPIA!
What is ATEEZ’s favourite book?
Alice in WONDERLAND!
What is Mingi’s favourite film?
INCEPTION!
Why will K-Pop fans love Stranger Things?
It’s set in the ATEEZ!
Why was Yeosang so disappointed on Christmas morning?
All he got was an Empty Box!
What should you bring to an ATEEZ party?
A BOUNCY castle!
What is San’s favourite sci-fi genre?
Cyberpunk!
What do ATEEZ do at the beach?
WAVE!
How do you know when ATEEZ Are Coming?
You’ll hear a SIREN!
What will you get if you go and see ATEEZ two days in a row?
Déjà vu!
How do ATEEZ celebrate New Year?
FIREWORKS!
What is Hongjoong’s favourite book?
TREASURE Island!
Why do ATEEZ have to get up early every day?
WORK!
Why should you get a hat with a built-in fan?
It’ll really blow your mind!
Why couldn’t the laptop remove its hat?
It has Caps Lock on!
What do you call a snake in a hard hat?
A boa constructor!
Did you hear about the man who made a hat out of paper towels?
He has a Bounty on his head!
Why do pirates wear such big hats?
Because they have privateers!
Did you hear the one about the hat?
It might go over your head!
What do you get if you put your hat on your knee?
A kneecap!
What a weird day! First I found a hat full of money….
And then I got chased by an angry guy with an accordion!
Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat?
You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap-sized!
What’s a hat’s favourite style of music?
A-cap-ella!
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear?
A skull cap!
What kind of hat does a ghost wear?
A boo-net!
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat?
He didn’t want anyone to harm a hare on his head!
What do you call a dinosaur in a cowboy hat?
Tyrannosaurus Tex!
Why don’t witches wear baseball caps?
There's no point in them!
Woman 1: Whenever I’m down in the dumps, I buy myself a new hat.
Woman 2: Ah, so that’s where you’ve been getting them!
What should you do if you keep hearing music every time you put your hat on?
Try removing the band!
Netflix is replacing its star ratings with thumbs up and thumbs down
Whether you like it, or not!
I always think my thumb is on the left side
On the other hand, it might be on the right!
Why was the man called Six and Seven-Eighths?
His parents pulled it out of a hat!
Who's got two thumbs and knows how to use scissors?
Not me!
What did finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you!
Turns out my wife has a bit of a green thumb
And I need to go to the hospital!
What blood type was the typist with massive thumbs?
Typo!
What’s a hat’s favourite coffee?
Cap-puccino!
How do you feel about hitchhiking?
It gets a thumbs up from me!
What did the hat say to the scarf?
“You wait here, I’ll go on a head!”
What has 4 fingers and a thumb but isn’t your hand?
My hand!
Why should you never brush your teeth with your thumb?
Because a toothbrush works better!
Rule of thumb:
When cutting, keep it away from the blade!
I don't have a green thumb...
Both of mine are pinkish!
I won a thumb at a lisp competition, but lost it soon after
You win thumb, you lose thumb!
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