20 London Jokes That Can't Be Thamed
Mind the gag! These hilarious London jokes will have you double deckered over in laughter!
If you can't think of anything funnier than a black cab full of Beefeaters, then these London jokes should be your cup of tea! Cor blimey! We've got the funniest jokes from Zone 1 to Zone 9!
But if boring food and bad teeth aren't your jam (don't worry, we're British, we're allowed to make that joke), then check out these other jokes pages! We've got silly snooker jokes, these scarecrow jokes (they're outstanding in their field) or even these spider jokes - they're the best on the web!
Ready to check out some hilarious London jokes? Then read on, mate!
What crisps never take cabs when in London?
Walkers!
My friend always went the extra mile at work
That's why he lost his job as a London taxi driver!
What time zone does your average London psychic run on?
Greenwich medium time!
I should be in Greenwich tomorrow
Not too sure what to do in The Mean Time!
I bought some new "London Bridge Jeans"
They keep falling down!
Why do pirates never sail down the River Thames?
'Scurvy!
What's the best place to organise a pig race?
BuckingHam Palace!
What's The Incredible Hulk's favourite London Underground station?
Turnham Green!
Why don't London cabbies like their jobs?
Because people are always talking behind their backs!
A tourist asked me how to get to Heathrow via Barking
So I pointed at a map and woofed!
I jumped on the tube the other day
Got toothpaste everywhere!
I taught my pet dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground today
He went from Barking to Tooting in about 15 minutes!
I went London underground themed fancy dress party
Everyone was wearing platforms!
I went to northwest London once
It was a Harrowing experience!
What’s the most common destination for London Buses?
NottinService!
I was asked to run the London marathon.
I'm flattered but I can’t organise such a big event!
Why did the chicken go to London?
He went to Peck um!
I got a pair of trousers with the London underground map on them
I've had to change twice already!
What do you call London when there's a power cut?
Lond-off!
Did you hear about the fish that ran the London marathon?
It came in last plaice!
Where in London to pickles hang out?
Pickle-Dilly Circus!
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